Do you believe in destiny?
I don’t. Or better… I don’t believe in a force that guides our lives no matter what. I strongly believe in free will and in the power of choice.
However I trust in signs.
I feel sometimes that the Universe sends us signs, when we most need it. We are free to follow them or not, but signs are there waiting to be noticed. Or maybe a more rational explanation could be that when we are ready to make a decision, our brain became more perceptive towards things that harmonize with our decision.
This is what happened to me.
I had been dwelling on my passion for writing for a while, when I came across an e-book on my Kindle. I downloaded it some time ago but I hadn’t read it yet. Why? I don’t know. However that seemed the right time because I was ruminating on writing a lot. I was thinking, as usual, that I wasn’t good enough, that no one would have read my stories and a lot of other self pity thoughts.
The e-book was You are a writer (so start acting like one) by Jeff Goins. If you don’t know Jeff Goins yet, you should visit his blog: one of the most inspiring writing I’ve ever read. Jeff Goins’ book made me feel a lot of different things.
It was all…. Oh, yes! I can write, I’m going to start immediately! But… I’m not good enough nor brave enough. Maybe I can become better, I can write better. Yes, I can! Oh, no. This book talks about total commitment to writing, but I can’t do that. I can’t leave my Chemistry degree in a corner as if it’s nothing. Maybe I can do both things. Yes, I can! No, I can’t. Yes, I can!. No, I told you I can’t!.
My brain was a battlefield with two opposed army, figthing strenuously. And the battle kept going in my head for days, even if I was eating, sleeping, reading, talking with people. One moment I felt confident and ready, the next one I felt dejected. Did you ever felt like that?
Then something else happened. Another sign.
I was scanning the blog of an author friend, Cinta Garcia de La Rosa, when I found a series of posts she wrote about writing. They contain amazing writing tips about what to do before a blank page, about how to hush up yout inner editor/proof reader, about creative impulse and doubts. You can read them at Cinta’s Corner, her beautiful blog (see below for the link).
it seemed too much to be a coincidence. Or maybe my twisted, introverted brain was just searching for some more encouragement. My inner editor is soooo cruel. She is (because I’m sure she is a lady) severe, inflexible, intransigent with everyone and everything, particularly with me. She reminds me of Minerva Mc Gonnagal!
But after reading Cinta’s suggesions I found enough nerve to silence her for a while, to pick up a pend and a notebook and begin writing. Minerva kept whispering that I was a fool, that I wasn’t a writer at all, that my story was boring, that I would have failed.
But, you know what? This time, I don’t care!
As Jeff Goins says in his book, we don’t write to be adored or to be paid a lot of money for our work, we write so that our voice can be heard. And as Cinta says: we write because we have to. We need it.
So I went on writing my story. I’m still writing it and I don’t know if I’m capable enough, probably not. Not yet. But I’ll keep writing.
So here we are at the difficult question: why writing a blog?
Because I don’t want to make this journey alone. I want to share my experience and I don’t give a damn if a few people only would be interested in it. If just one person appreciates what I write, it will be worth the effort.
Would you care to join me in this journey?
Thank you for reading so far. I would like to know what you think!
Here you can find the links to the blogs I mentioned. They’re definitely worth following!
The amazing blog written by the amazing author of The Funny Adventures of Little Nani (absolutely a must have!)
A place where you can find inspiration and wisdom, not only about writing but also about life.